Matres Regnant - How Queens Can Help You Be A Better Mom
We here at Medieval Parenthood are always trying to help you ladies (and lords!) through the incredibly tough process of being a parent in the Medieval era. Even the most experienced parents with the most children still sometimes feel completely lost, and we know how difficult that can be. We know you guys love our advice columns, so we took some of your questions and we asked the ultimate expert-moms - Queens! Who better to teach us about the work-life balance than the women who not only have to balance work and life, but work, life, and kingdom? Below, see some of your questions answered by Mathilda, Helen, and Balthild.
Q: Dear Queen Mothers,
I’m a young mother of seven, and my husband is a blacksmith. I love my children and I adore my husband, but I’ve been struggling lately with my devotion to my faith. I am a very devout Christian and would be interested in joining a convent, were it not for the fact that I have all these kids. I’d always wanted to be a nun, but my parents convinced me that marriage and children were a better option. Now I’m feeling stuck. How can I be a good mom if all I can think about is the convent?
- I Can’t Be A Bride of Christ If I’m Already Married!
Balthild: Dear Can’t Be A Bride,
You remind me of my good friend, Radegund. She was so devout that she actually ended up leaving her husband to devote her life to Christ. This is certainly admirable, but of course she couldn’t be a true nun after being married - and, unfortunately, that ship has sailed for you too. That being said, I think there’s some middle ground to be found here! I think for me, my children and my marriage strengthened my connection with God. My devotion to both my faith and my family also made me a better queen - being both a good Christian and a good mother has given me the ability to excel in my regal responsibilities of generosity and of ensuring the continuation of our royal bloodline. My advice to you is to look upon your wifely and motherly duties as holy. The Virgin Mary’s most holy role was being the mother of Christ, and she has always served as a role model for my relationship with my faith and my family. Hopefully she can help you too!
Q: Dear Queen Mothers,
I’m a newlywed and a new mother - my son is only a couple of months old! As a new mom, I’m obviously worried about a lot of things - famine, disease, war, the usual - but one thing I’m really struggling with is how to ensure that my son grows up to be a good Christian man. Do you have any advice?
- New Mama
Helen: Dear New Mama,
Congratulations! I remember when my Constantine was just a baby, and look at him now - emperor! My biggest piece of advice to you is to lead by example - my choice as a mother to convert to Christianity ended up having a lasting impact not only on my son but on the entire Western world! I used my faith to guide me in advising my son - I found the true cross and made a crown and a bridle for him out of the nails used to nail Christ to the cross. Lo and behold, the acceptance of Christianity in the Byzantine Empire became Constantine’s greatest legacy. If you live as you hope your son will live, you can’t go wrong! Best of luck!
Q: Dear Queen Mothers,
I’m a little older than most of the moms who read Medieval Parenthood - my son is actually an adult now, and I still have questions! Ha! I’m struggling with how to stay relevant in my son’s life as he grows older. My son recently got married and began running his own fiefdom, and he tried to keep me in the summer castle! How can I keep from being the “pushed-aside mom?”
- I’m Not Dead Yet!
Mathilda: Dear Not Dead,
Don’t give up! I was in your position at one point - I was kicked out of court for a time, which was very difficult for me. My advice to you is to establish yourself as a “good luck charm,” or a good force in your home. When I left, things started going so badly in the palace that they just had to take me back! I also established a good relationship with my daughter-in-law, who became instrumental in my return to court just before her death, God bless her. Motherhood is so closely tied to influence in the home (and in my case, the kingdom). If you want to keep from being pushed aside, make sure to establish a strong relationship with your daughter-in-law, get yourself involved with your grandchildren's education, and remind him how useful your organizational skills are. It’s important to remind your son that, adult or not, you are still his mom!
***
That’s all for now! Check back next week on Medieval Parenthood to learn more about every mother’s greatest enemy - plague!
Q: Dear Queen Mothers,
I’m a young mother of seven, and my husband is a blacksmith. I love my children and I adore my husband, but I’ve been struggling lately with my devotion to my faith. I am a very devout Christian and would be interested in joining a convent, were it not for the fact that I have all these kids. I’d always wanted to be a nun, but my parents convinced me that marriage and children were a better option. Now I’m feeling stuck. How can I be a good mom if all I can think about is the convent?
- I Can’t Be A Bride of Christ If I’m Already Married!
Balthild: Dear Can’t Be A Bride,
You remind me of my good friend, Radegund. She was so devout that she actually ended up leaving her husband to devote her life to Christ. This is certainly admirable, but of course she couldn’t be a true nun after being married - and, unfortunately, that ship has sailed for you too. That being said, I think there’s some middle ground to be found here! I think for me, my children and my marriage strengthened my connection with God. My devotion to both my faith and my family also made me a better queen - being both a good Christian and a good mother has given me the ability to excel in my regal responsibilities of generosity and of ensuring the continuation of our royal bloodline. My advice to you is to look upon your wifely and motherly duties as holy. The Virgin Mary’s most holy role was being the mother of Christ, and she has always served as a role model for my relationship with my faith and my family. Hopefully she can help you too!
Q: Dear Queen Mothers,
I’m a newlywed and a new mother - my son is only a couple of months old! As a new mom, I’m obviously worried about a lot of things - famine, disease, war, the usual - but one thing I’m really struggling with is how to ensure that my son grows up to be a good Christian man. Do you have any advice?
- New Mama
Helen: Dear New Mama,
Congratulations! I remember when my Constantine was just a baby, and look at him now - emperor! My biggest piece of advice to you is to lead by example - my choice as a mother to convert to Christianity ended up having a lasting impact not only on my son but on the entire Western world! I used my faith to guide me in advising my son - I found the true cross and made a crown and a bridle for him out of the nails used to nail Christ to the cross. Lo and behold, the acceptance of Christianity in the Byzantine Empire became Constantine’s greatest legacy. If you live as you hope your son will live, you can’t go wrong! Best of luck!
Q: Dear Queen Mothers,
I’m a little older than most of the moms who read Medieval Parenthood - my son is actually an adult now, and I still have questions! Ha! I’m struggling with how to stay relevant in my son’s life as he grows older. My son recently got married and began running his own fiefdom, and he tried to keep me in the summer castle! How can I keep from being the “pushed-aside mom?”
- I’m Not Dead Yet!
Mathilda: Dear Not Dead,
Don’t give up! I was in your position at one point - I was kicked out of court for a time, which was very difficult for me. My advice to you is to establish yourself as a “good luck charm,” or a good force in your home. When I left, things started going so badly in the palace that they just had to take me back! I also established a good relationship with my daughter-in-law, who became instrumental in my return to court just before her death, God bless her. Motherhood is so closely tied to influence in the home (and in my case, the kingdom). If you want to keep from being pushed aside, make sure to establish a strong relationship with your daughter-in-law, get yourself involved with your grandchildren's education, and remind him how useful your organizational skills are. It’s important to remind your son that, adult or not, you are still his mom!
***
That’s all for now! Check back next week on Medieval Parenthood to learn more about every mother’s greatest enemy - plague!
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