Turia to Esther

Esther,

Your predicament is one I appreciate greatly. While we must honor our husbands, we are naturally drawn to protect and serve our kin. Don’t resist this inclination—it’s there for a reason. Your worries are two-fold: on a basic level, you are saddened by Haman’s persecution of the Jews because you are a Jew yourself. You occupy an elevated and protected position as queen isolates you from suffering with your people—you are not just a Jew, you are a queen. And yet, despite your power, you might not be able to save them because of your husband. As queen, you must obey your husband, no matter how painful it is. However, I urge you to exercise any advantage you have to sway the king’s decision to follow Haman’s plan. You will suffer if you survive, knowing you did nothing to help your people.

After my parents were murdered, I sought justice. The culprits were punished. I knew that if I sat idle, waiting to feel better, nothing would be done. My family would be besmirched with the tragedy of my parents’ murder. While pursuing their killers did not bring them back, I took control to even the score between myself and them. I think that you should do the same to Haman. In addition to persecuting an entire people for the perceived insolence of one, he’s threatening your people. That alone should be enough to spur you to some action. Defend yourself. When the validity of my father’s will came into question, I defended the right for my sister and I to have it—anyone who tried to take it from us was warded off. Protect what is yours and what is rightfully your family’s.

But how can you do this? Convince your husband that Haman is wrong. To do wrong unto the Jews is to do wrong unto you, his wife. Now is as good a time as ever to tell him your true identity—marriages don’t last long with secrets. It seems like he cares for you dearly and you could make him believe that as your husband, he is a part of the family, and it is wrong for someone to persecute their own family. I anticipate your fear at revealing yourself, but you’ll find that your husband will understand. Men who are honest and good understand the choices of their wives. When my sister’s inheritance was threatened, I decided to equally split what my husband and I would inherit with her and her husband, Cluvius. My husband understood that this sacrifice came not out spite toward him, but to help my sister.  He has always been extremely patient and understanding about my relationship with her. Sometimes those bonds of kinship are nearly as important as marital dedication. Trust that your husband, by loving you, will embrace your uncle and your people as his own kin.

As for Haman, I would imagine that he will stay at the elbow of the king, so you must be wise to talk to you husband without his eye. If you must go through him, start strong—coy, strategic, aggressive—when dealing with him. Deceive him, test the waters of his temperament, before you reveal your interest in the Jews—it is a weakness he could exploit. But if you must grovel before him, do not be too proud. Too much is at stake to let pride come before saving the Jews from his horrendous law . When my husband was in exile, I defended him and our home aggressively, but in the end, I begged more powerful men for his life. I was bruised and bloodied and humiliated, but I did what I had to do, perhaps at the cost of embarrassment to our family name. I still have my husband, because I was a loyal, loving wife who succumbed when it was necessary. Men like Haman, drunk with power such that they punish many in the name of one, respond to pleas from powerful enemies. Either deceive him into thinking you are not a threat or be prepared to do whatever you can to play to his hubris to spare you, and hopefully the rest of the Jews.

May the gods look with kindness upon you, Esther.

Turia