Helen replies ...

Oh dear sister, may the Lord have mercy on your plight! Let me start by saying, I understand your predicament. As women in a royal court, we have certain powers, but can never presume to command the men around us – especially our husbands. My relationship with my husband Constantius is not all that different to your marriage with Ahasuerus. Where he picked you out of a congregation of beautiful women, a Jewish girl from a humble background, orphaned at a young age and in the care of a relative, my husband chose me believing me to be sent by the Gods to be his soul mate. I too was merely a common woman, born to lowly people in Asia Minor. It would be presumptuous of us, women of our background, to attempt to compel the powerful men around us to do what we think is right. We must accept their wisdom, even if we do not agree with it – when my husband set me aside for his second wife, I was profoundly upset. But I found new purpose through my son, whose education and life I have been able to shape. That is the power in being a royal woman – the ability to persuade and slowly shape the character of the men around us. However, your issue seems a little too immediate for bearing a son to be of much use.

I am a fervent believer in the power of faith. I had faith in the Lord when I was in the holy places in search of relics of Christ, and he guided me patiently towards a resolution. Prayer, dear sister, will lead to divine inspiration and give you guidance I could never profess to offer! You are lucky to have around you people of similar faith, seek their counsel, and offer yourself to God who may guide you through this perilous time. My experience has been that through divine inspiration, God can affect even the most obstinate of rulers – hopefully your husband shall be no exception.

If you decide to intercede with your husband, I shall pray for you, but there are some practical tips you should follow. I have interceded with my son many times, but primarily on the restoration of holy sites and the patronage of charitable works. As this is a matter of state, you must be careful to proceed with care – especially as your husband’s first wife was set aside for subverting her subordinate position. You must humble yourself before him; show yourself to be the image of a grateful, loyal wife. Don’t immediately make your demand of him, you must first ingratiate yourself to him so that he is in a mood favourable to granting your request. So too must you be aware that a powerful man will be reluctant to admit he was wrong, and as your husband has already issued a royal decree, you may have to come up with a creative solution in order to save yourself and your people. You must make yourself more important to him than his wicked advisor Haman. If he continues to wield more influence over your husband, you will never be successful. You must make use of your connections in the royal court to raise yourself up, and make your husband aware of your undying support, in contrast to the duplicitousness of the wicked Haman.

There is no easy route to success in this most difficult endeavour sister, but I wish you all the best. Men are difficult to influence, my son has been a blessing compared to the other men I have known in my life. Pray to God for assistance, and that your husband may be accommodating.

Yours,

Helen