Preparing a Daughter for the Crown

Monarch Magazine: By Royals, for Royals

Advice from Sage Sovereigns Column

Dear Royal Weekly,

We’re a pair of rulers trying to raise our little girl to be a great queen and wife. She’s started to ask questions about her future life, and we would greatly appreciate some guidance on how to explain the fate we want to mold for her. Our daughter hasn’t expressed interest in the opposite sex thus far, so how do we communicate that she will only be successful with a suitable mate to be her king? We want her to be interested in men, but we’re still trying to figure out exactly what to look for in her match! Lastly, what are the tasks that each of us, individually in our roles as a father and a mother, should take on? Can you please give us some much-needed parenting advice?

With gratitude,

Pleading parents 

Lucky for these perplexed parents, we contacted top experts to weigh in on these important questions! Read ahead for advice from wise contributors who have raised successful queens.

Uota:

My daughter Kriemhild has grown up to be a woman of the highest beauty and character. When she was young, she came to me for help interpreting a nightmare about training a falcon that gets killed by eagles. I explained that the falcon represented a noble man whom she would one day love and then lose. While I think it is better to have a fitting mate and lose him, as I did with my now-deceased husband Dancrat, Kriemhild immediately responded that she wanted to avoid pain by living on her own forever, and of course I had to teach her that her plan did not fit with the role of a proper queen. “Pleading parents,” you must instruct your daughter that she can only be happy with a good man by her side, and that eventual heartbreak is worth it. It’s not practical or best for your daughter’s long-term happiness to renounce marriage. Educate her that she will find her perfect partner and reassure her that you’ll be there with her every step of the way as she navigates courtship and love. 

It is a mother’s duty to explain all the benefits that can come from a successful marriage. Fathers and, in Kriemhild’s case, male relatives are responsible for protecting the royal woman from harm and determining the right man to become her husband. It is certainly difficult to raise my daughter as a widow, but luckily I have three sons to take on the male role for her. My sons, especially Gunther, are fierce warriors and have always looked out for their sister. They had a reputation for preventing any suitor from meeting precious Kriemhild. However, when Siegfried arrived, they finally allowed this noble man to meet the beautiful young lady he traveled for. Once Kriemhild decided she liked Siegfried, it became clear that the suitor would benefit the future queen, Gunther, and the kingdom as a whole. I don’t approve of the trickery in which Gunther made Siegfried engage, but those are the lengths my own son needed to go to in order to win his true love. Siegfried possesses all the qualities that you should find in a potential mate for your daughter. He is handsome, strong, well-dressed, generous, brave, and from a great family. While love does not last forever, my daughter will live well for the duration of their time together.

Hagen: 

Like Kriemhild, my daughter Hilde is also quite the catch. So many unworthy men were trying to win her that I had to vanquish a number of unimpressive fellows. It is my fatherly instinct to protect my daughter from any danger or unfit match and of course, I would never give Hilde to someone weaker than I am. Because of my harsh treatment of Hilde’s suitors, Hetel of the Hegelings came all the way to Ireland with treacherous plans to abduct Hilde. When the Hegelings arrived, they pretended to be wealthy merchants and exiled warriors, lulling me into a false sense of security. After Hilde and her ladies boarded one of the foreign ships to see their riches, a group of warriors ambushed them and sailed back to the Hegeling lands. It seems that my daughter took a liking to the idea of marrying Hetel and actually wanted to go to these strange territories! 

I was outraged and immediately set out to retrieve my daughter. When I arrived in Hetel's lands, a fierce battle broke out. He and I were both wounded, but I never displayed my injuries to Hilde--a strong man never reveals his weakness. We decided to prevent further bloodshed by making peace. I saw that he was a powerful and wealthy man with far more territory than I possess. Hilde begged for my forgiveness and I embraced her because she is my daughter, and in fact, she chose a very worthy man despite his initial deception. An important lesson is that a parent always forgives a child. Here was my last piece of advice before Hilde started her new phase of life as queen as the Hegelings: “Bear the crown in such a way that your mother and I hear no evil reports that you have incurred the hatred of any man.” Any royal parent should make clear to their daughter that reputation is of the utmost importance. I then returned home to Ireland laden with gifts and good news. I comforted my wife by telling her that our daughter would now wear richer garments than ever before and that Hetel would always care for her. I hope we gave helpful advice on how to raise future queens and what to look for in their matches! Good luck!