Bothersome Brunhild

Dear Diary,

My family has really been getting on my nerves lately. The death of my father was tragic, yes, but it allowed me to have the opportunity to take the kingdom (which I was very intent on doing). Somehow, I let this marvelous opportunity slip through my hands as my brothers cajoled me into sharing with them; I ended up getting the kingdom of Soissons, which is the worst one. I can’t believe I was so foolish; those lands should’ve been mine! Naturally, I went to war with one of my half-brothers, Sigebert ... God, I hate that old fart. I can’t ever win against him, he always beats me in everything and it is so frustrating.

            If that wasn’t enough, Sigebert decided to marry this exotic, Spanish hottie called Brunhild. Again, he wanted to prove his superiority to me. To counter him, I dumped my old concubine, Fredegund, and married Galswinth, Brunhild’s sister, instead. Let’s just say I’ve had better ideas… this marriage didn’t really work out for us. Coincidentally, Galswinth happened to be found strangled in her bed the next morning. Hmmm, funny how that works.

            Fredegund and I were now back together and living somewhat peacefully for a short time until Brunhild decides to go crazy and persuade Sigebert to start a war against me! What?! All of this because of your sister? If someone killed my brothers, I’d be happy—they’d be doing me a favor! Well, Sigebert had the upper hand in the war for a while until my sweet, sweet Fredegund took care of business for me. Soon enough, Sigebert was stabbed and killed and Brunhild was taken to prison. Ha, take that! It felt so relieving to be rid of my brother, I always felt like I was overshadowed by him. Now I can live my life without worry of trying to constantly match up to Sigebert and I can be the ultimate ruler!

            Something is so troublesome about this Brunhild, though. I can’t get her out of my mind. She’s clearly very strong willed, I’ll give her that, but why won’t she give up? I mean she’s now a widow living in a foreign land, that’s plenty excuse to fall into the shadows. While I am deeply paranoid about this woman, I am also in awe of her perseverance and persistence—she is always alongside of everything and everyone. Brunhild is also manly in some ways, some describe her as being hearty and resilient, which aren’t typical queen-like attributes. I need this woman to stay in her place! She is a threat to me and my power.

            If this family drama isn’t enough, my daft son, Merovech, decided he was going to try to marry this witch! What the heck was he thinking? One, Brunhild is evil and two, she is his aunt! This situation also demonstrates how childish Brunhild is … she is unfit to be in a position of power. Anyway, I sent Merovech to a monastery as his punishment, which he apparently did not like because he was found dead not too long after he was exiled. Oh, well. As a side note, Brunhild should take note of my style of parenting. She goads and spoils her children way too much. What you need to do is put your foot down, say no, and punish your children. Ugh, I could list so many ways in which Brunhild comes up short.

            Overall, the past couple of months and even years have been rough. My family is annoying and I feel as if everyone’s trying to sabotage me, especially Brunhild. I don’t know how to deal with her and it makes me anxious to see her in a position of power. I’m really not sure why everyone is so infatuated by her, they fail to see Brunhild for what she really is-- an immature, crazy woman. It seems as if she is devoted to ruining my life. I also know that my wife, Fredegund, feels the same way and that the two women have some type of feud. No one messes with my woman! I’ll protect and believe her no matter what and if taking down Brunhild satisfies this, then I’ll do it.

            Anyway, that’s about all I have for today. I’ll keep writing updates about the family situation and I’ll be sure to keep my eye on Brunhild. I sincerely hope things get better but until then, good bye for now.

Chilperic