The Iron Ladies

The Iron Lady’s Forum: A discussion between Margaret Thatcher and Queen Brunhild.

Int. Auditorium. The lights come up on the two speakers, sitting in plush chairs and facing the spotlight. THATCHER and BRUNHILD sip ice water as a MODERATOR (George Hamilton) grins in his suit and takes his place at the moderator's desk, which is positioned between the two plush chairs. The auditorium is large and packed with people. High ceilings frame the event. There are news cameras abound. Brunhild sits stage left in traditional Frankish garb. Margaret Thatcher sits stage right in her famous powder blue pant suit and rigid hair-pearl combination.

Moderator: Ladies and gentleman, welcome to tonight’s main event; a conversation with two of history’s most revered (cheers) and reviled (boos) female leaders. Madams, thank you for being here tonight. Now for our first question: Can Queens really do it all?

Thatcher: I do not understand what you mean.

Moderator: Queens, you know, female leaders. I apologize.

Thatcher: That’s quite alright. Many times in my career I’ve been mistakenly credited with true power. Audience Laughs. But in a word, yes. A modern woman can balance her power and the personal life just as well as anyone else can, thank you. When I was queen, I enjoyed a healthy relationship with my husband as well as a war with Argentina. So yes, I know it can be done.

Moderator: Brunhild?

Brunhild: Of course not. Women are not allowed to exist in their own spheres unperturbed by the influences that engage them. Take me, plucked from my resting-perch in Spain and shipped across Europe to consort with a king.  Anything I achieved henceforth was accomplished only by the sheer force of my willpower. Not with some abstract ability “to do it all” as the man so blithely puts it.

Thatcher: Make no mistake, however. Like your majesty, I was originally recognized only vis-à-vis the men in my life. When I first joined the conservative party it was a veritable gentleman’s club. I used to have to wash my clothes from the cigar smoke. It was only with determination and resilience that I was able to assert myself in the political sphere as a dominant force—an iron force of nature.

Brunhild: Madam, you misunderstand. I am not that person you expect. For me, the pinnacle of achievement is not to speak but, to assert myself. The question was thus: “can queens do it all?” The answer is no, we cannot and should not. Queens have a functionary roll in the order of society. But that roll exists within a system so exhausted as to be ordained by God himself. The duty of the queen is supplemental, just as the duty of the king is supplemental. To assume one can do it all borders on indecent hubris. To assume that one can “do it all” is to divert praise not only from God but from the apparatus that breathes life into the Leviathan.

Moderator: Ok, ok, ok. That’s time, Queen Brunhild. Thank you for your answer. We have time for one more question, folks. So, my esteemed guests: would you rather be queens or prime ministers?

Brunhild: Hmm. While I would love to benefit from the advancements that have allowed for such a change from queen to Prime Minister. I would have to say that I would prefer to be a queen. There are duties of a queen that the prime minster may not fill. Duties to oneself but also to one’s soul … I think…

Thatcher: Unequivocally, absolutely and fanatically I would rather be a queen. Imagine it! One could do as one pleased. I was so weighted with those coal miners in the north country; with a general sense of desperate malaise that has pervaded England since the fall of the Empire. Imagine, once more to bask in imperial glory. To feel the power and influence that unchecked power allows.

Brunhild: It gets checked, believe me.