Top 4 Ways You (Yes, You!) Can Become a Queen in Your Own Right

Top 4 Ways You (Yes, You!) Can Become a Queen in Your Own Right

So you’ve been crowned queen. There was a ceremony, you got a crown, and I’m sure you’re very excited. But don’t you feel like something is missing? You may have the dresses, the jewels, and the scepter, but do you have the power? Is your husband taking away the fun part of being queen? Is he not letting you make any important decisions? Do you feel like you’re waiting around for someone to let you do anything? Well wait no longer! Here are the top four ways you (yes, you!) can become a queen in your own right!

#4: Get Flirty

Remember, you have those pretty dresses for a reason. Your husband is particularly susceptible to your womanly charms. A well-chosen outfit, a well-thought word, or a well-thrown party can alter the minds of even the most stubborn husbands and kings. This is the preferred method of Queen Esther. “If I want my husband to do anything, I have to make him think it was his idea. Say what you will about my methods, but I’ll have you know, after three of my dinner parties, my people were saved,” Queen Esther told us.

Queen Esther’s method is one of the oldest, and most respected, forms of gaining queenly power. However, it is one of the most work-intensive. When attempting to get what you want through seduction, you don’t really get an off day. But if you’re into spa days, make up tutorials, and fashion shows, this may be the method for you.

#3: Get so religious your husband doesn’t care if you leave

Essentially, the opposite of # 4. Instead of seducing your husband into giving you power, with this strategy you’re going for maximum annoyance. What are the main duties of a queen? She must be obedient to her husband, produce many heirs, and look beautiful. Your goal is to do none of those. Queen Radegund really embodied this method. She spoke to us about her experiences as queen, saying, “I used to spend the entire night in the chapel praying rather than sharing a bed with my husband. Because of this, I never had children, and I never got a good night’s sleep. What I did get was a position as an Abbess. So who was the real winner here?” Queen Radegund’s method is unusual, but effective. If you’re really into God, try it out!

#2: Send him on a vacation

Because of course, if he’s out of town, you’re technically in charge. Make sure you remind all of his advisors of this fact very frequently.

#1: Make sure your sons (and their wives!) love you when your husband dies

You are your children’s whole world. Keep it that way, even after their daddy dearest passes on. Queen Mathilda really rocked this method. After her husband died, she and her son Otto got into a bit of a tiff over who should be king. She left the kingdom for a bit, but Otto’s wife convinced him that he could not have a successful kingdom without his mother. Ladies have got to help ladies! As Queen Mathilda put it, “My younger son was my favorite, so I wanted him to be king. But my older son has got a great wife, so I can’t really complain. And now my older son thinks he can’t be king without his mom there. So I think it’s a win!”